"All men are rapists" was the cry of some feminists a few years ago. There was a huge backlash of indignation from men and women. Its only a 'small minority that rape' we said.
In New Zealand we have just had three men (1 a current serving senior police officer and 2 former police officers) cleared of rape allegations in two different trials with 2 different women as the victims. It has now transpired that 2 of the men are currently serving time in prison for a rape they were convicted of that was not allowed to be bought out in the trial.
This has got me thinking about the whole issue.....not so much as to whether they were innocent or guilty.....but what does it say about us? There is no doubt that men have been sexually using women, whether it meets the legal definition or not, for centuries....maybe for all all time. It is also true that the system seems stacked against women coming forward and getting a conviction, and that so much sexual behaviour by men is abusing their power and the vulnerabilities of the victims (or perhaps we should call them survivors as they are hero's for surviving). So often what men do they brag about and other men laugh and joke about it.
The only conclusion is that the feminists are partly right as long as we see manhood including the right to use women for our sexual gratification and allowing this to continue. I do hold hope though as in Jesus we see a man who was different. He did not see women as most men did and still do and took stands that showed the value women have without needing to sexually exploit them!
This entry was posted by Angry and Shallow, on
Friday, March 09, 2007.
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7:54 pm
On a perhaps different slant, it is my opinion that the genuine attempt of many men these days to treat women as pure and wholesome sisters/equals has created a 'breed' of men who have become too much like women themselves.
I feel sorry for you single christian blokes because you are in a culture that demands women not be seen as sex symbols etc, so you act overly cautious and never look us in they eye or compliment us on our new dress or even damn well be brave enough to, gee, lets see, ask us out on a date.
If i wanted more female friends id just go hang out with them, but women are women and men are men and its NICE to have some blokeness around us from time to time.
Hold the door open for me if you want. Smile and catch my eye. Tell me if you think i look lovely today. Offer to fix my broken mail box. Drink beer. Jesus was manly and had all sorts of skills, he would have been buff from all that carpentry, he got angry and voiced his opinion etc. Ok so he was actually also God and therefore didnt have any lustful thoughts, but, for my sake at least, be a man, please, i really wont mind.
11:46 am
There is a lot of things that people do not hear about in the news i mean when was the last time you heard about a male being raped. you dont but it doesnt mean that it doesnt happen. why is that we only hear about females being raped and a male is arrested. its not the i dnt care i do but we have also got have to think about what we dont hear about.
12:42 pm
Women are used to describe, personify, envisage sexuality and sex in the media and this shapes societal views and responses and interpersonal relationships. Women have been placed in this position for several reasons (that I won't go into here but has something to do with patriachal power of
predominately white men to deliver an economic gain).
This has been happening for such a long time that it has become ingrained into our culture and the core beliefs we have about ourselves and our gender. We have developed ideas about what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be a man solely based on the information that has been given to us by "them" , the people/forces/conglomerates who hold power in the world and dictate where money goes and where it doesn't. This agenda permeates our everyday lives and affects the way we relate to each other.
Women are typically sexualised, men are not. Women are used to sell products with their beauty and bodies on billboards and in magazines and on television. The image of a woman is typically associated with sex, while the image of a man is not. This means that when a man sees a woman he subconsciously associates her with sex, and when a woman sees a woman in an advertisement she also associates that image with sex because women are not provided with any other image except for themselves.
If you are a woman and given a presecribed ideal of what a woman looks like - thin, long hair, bigger breasts,'sexy' - when you don't fit into that ideal you find yourself in a very diffcult place, you know you are a woman yet an image that represents you is not displayed. No-one uses pictures of an overweight or plain woman to advertise products so these women, normal women, are rendered invisible.
Then they spend money buying the products with the attractive girl in the ad because it seems to promise something to us - what life could be like if only we looked like that. That's the whole point, to get us to chuck our money away on things that promise to make us look like the ideal.
The same goes for men. Men in advertisements are usually selling "blokey" products like beer or gardening tools or ride on mowers. This says two things: firstly, if you don't like beer or lawnmowers you're not a 'real' man, and secondly, if you're not 6 foot something with big muscles your not a 'real' man, other men are usually parodied in the media.
The bottom line here is that our gender, our sexuality is marketed to be a product, a commodity, something we use and then throw away. This idea can be related back to mass-production of products that started in the 1970s, and this attitude has carried over into our personal relationships. Rather than seeing sex as something to be valued or treasured, it is seen as a disposable, something that exists for the sole purpose of meeting our immediate needs, be it pleasure or procreation, it is a means to an end. In our "fast-food" culture we can get what we want, when we want it , and that is how we have come to think about sex. So it is no surprise really that people are being raped and exploited by other people because the message is drummed into us subconsciously and consciously that women AND men are products, to be used and disposed of, just like the products they advertise.
10:08 pm
Hey Daz, you said at the Forge thing to let you know my blog details so here they are - http://afootinbothplaces.wordpress.com/ It was good to see you at the summit bro, its always a encouraging.
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Lots of guys around with in my neighbourhood seem to have the attitude you're talking about. I'm not even sure where to start with them ... I guess not laughing at their jokes or being impressed by their boasting is probably not a bad way to begin ...
Can you see societies view of manhood changing so this isn't the case? I can see societies view of womanhood changing so that women now see themselves as having the right to use men for their sexual gratification ... and all in the name of equality. Two wrongs don't make a right!
I want to work out how to follow Jesus by trying to bust open some cultural patterns and behaviours by valuing others (in this case the ladies) in ways that shock, that could be very interesting.
2:00 pm
Hi Tim.....good to keep in touch and once I remember how i will put a link to your blog!
12:47 am
At work today, an email was sent around linking to a video of some guys running around the street pulling women's tops down.
In our workplace of 40+ males, no-one objected.